Some awesome love advice (grain of salt included)!
Love is a many splendored thing . . . but finding it is an altogether different matter. If you live, eat and breathe a gamer life, can you separate it from a relationship. Should you have to? Are you limited to finding someone with the same digital obsession? Ahh, so many questions. And so many great and helpful suggestions below! Hey, I know love . . . you know, because I said so.
- Love shouldn’t be one-sided. Take a cue from Link and Mario. There’s nothing wrong with fighting for love or earning it, but at some point, you should just realize the futility of your efforts. Now, I know, perhaps Link isn’t a good example as in most cases it’s a different Link and Zelda, but I tend to connect with them all the same, so for me, at least, it applies.
How many times does Mario need to save Princess Toadstool (I refuse to call her ‘Peach’) before he gets the hint that she’ll never love him back!? Sorry, toots, but a hug and a thanks just aren’t gonna do it anymore. Well, at least Wario has it right and can get all the fulfillment he needs from his love of gold. (I do not recommend replacing love with greed, but at the same time, to each his own. ~shrug~)
- Don’t take a cue from dating sims. Now, I love relationship sims, all the choices, all the possibilities, the replayability. But for as much as they may be the closest representation of finding love in video games, they’re nothing to the real world. No, you won’t have three (or more) people throwing a flirting eye at you. You won’t be given any sort of dossier on these prospective partners (well, I suppose if you went the private investigator route, but that’s rather creepy . . . no, very creepy). And you certainly don’t have a set time limit where at the end you meet this person of your dreams under a cherry tree for your first kiss. Sorry, boys and girls, pimpin’ ain’t that easy . . . I mean ‘loving’.
- There is no truth in love. With this statement, I mean that there is no one specific piece of advice I can give you that will guarantee you’ll find the love you want. Sure, there are gamer couples aplenty, but that’s not what everyone needs/wants out of a relationship. While it’s nice to have an understanding partner while you spend all night grinding (uhm . . . I mean the leveling grinding, not the sexual, dance floor kind . . .), perhaps it’s other commonalities that bond you two. Sure, this means that some have to give up a portion of their gaming time for ‘couple time’, but this is a reality of ‘growing up’ (carried on in the next point).
On the other hand, your non-gaming partner could be completely turned off by your desire to spend time playing video games. Would it be worth it to you to quit (or limit yourself to sneaking over to a friend’s house while you ‘work late’) or is your electronic loving (and by that I mean love for your consoles/PC and not any sort of sexual pleasure people can get from electronic devices . . . which I, uh, will just leave at that) wait, where was I? Oh yes, it’s a question of whether your love of gaming is more important than your relationship.
- Growing up is hard to do. There’s a reason why the stereotype of a gamer is someone who lives with their parents (whatever age they may be), barely employed and single. That’s because this describes someone with so few responsibilities that they can afford the time to game to their heart’s desire. Have to pay rent? You’ll need a job to afford your place, plus food, utilities and other living expenses. And a job means less time to game, not just the 40 or so hours a week you work, but most people have to add in commute time, which itself can mean several hours a week extra. In a relationship? Even if you’re with someone who’s a gamer themself, not every date night can be spent gaming. The occasional dinner-and-a-movie/walk-on-the-beach/concert must be had. And this doesn’t even consider those who choose (or not) to procreate. While it may feel good to know you’re guaranteeing the existence of ‘the gamer’ for the next generation, it sure cramps your own gaming (as I’ve previously covered).
So the question ultimately becomes: are these aspects of life and ‘growing up’ worth the gaming time you’ll lose? I know many gamers who’ve chosen more freedom and gaming over any biological urges to have little tykes running around. No way is right or wrong, and, in fact, I fully respect those who choose this path. There certainly are times I wish I weren’t a parent (admitting this in no way makes me a bad mom, just an honest . . . Hey, don’t push the power button! Noooooooo!!!).
- Be open to a life of inanimate love. Not everyone needs a partner to feel fulfilled in life. While it’s certainly nice to have those moments to share with someone, you shouldn’t feel obligated in that way. Wouldn’t it be nice to have your own bedroom, drink out of the juice carton without guilt, safely leave leftovers in the fridge, eat chocolate cereal for dinner cause no one else’s nutrition is at stake . . . it appears I have food on the brain, excuse me while I prepare an unhealthy but delicious bowl of fake Captain Crunch . . . Basically, don’t worry about fitting into a ‘life box’ set by society, just do what makes you happy.
There are so many aspects of love and dating to cover, but what I’ve given you here are just some basic things to think about. I’m no expert, but I certainly have no problem loudly giving my advice. Perhaps next time I could discuss some tips for first dates or where to pick up chicks/dudes/furries. Or we could just petition for the start of “Love Advice with Dr. Pat” (this may only make sense to the 110 or so of us watching the last live stream, but, hey, it’s gotta start somewhere).